A Rough and Productive Week

This past week has been hard with Steve away. There has been a great loss of a friend and I could not go to his funeral. My mom and sister away most the month in Ireland and I could not even talk with them on the phone. My good friend Sharon unable to visit me because her own dad is going on hospice. No more laundry list of complaints, I will stop here and not continue with other negative thoughts.



Karen, my niece in law, visited and warmed my heart. Hospice helpers Leslie and Kiara also brightened my day. Getting myself into the art studio is my source of inspiration and replenishment. I created a number of necklaces, with hand painted angels coated in a protection of carefully placed resin. Each gemstone bead a breath, a moment, a mindful appreciation for color and shape. In the midst of a fog of emptiness and longing, my soul rejoices when I am in the process of creating. I am grateful for the opportunity and perseverance to continue as a caregiver and artist.

Something Different

Recently arrangements were made for respite care for Rhetta. It was a welcome break. It not only restored my energy, it also was fun to enjoy a brief vacation with my husband.

Having a 24/7 responsibility is a strain in many respects. What a blessing to be able to get away. The truth is that the importance of embracing love, nature, and adventure restores the soul.  It is a big boost for creativity, inner strength, coping, and health. 

Big Pocono State Park

Cape May

We went to the Pocono mountains and hiked on beautiful trails. The weather could not be better.  We visited wineries, a cave called Lost Caverns, played for a short time at the Mt. Airy Casino, and more trails at Dingmans Ferry. New Hope and Cape May also on our short trip.

Dingmans Ferry

  

Dingmans Ferry

During this time, my daughter visited from Florida. I missed her very much and thankful she made the drive safely.  We had time to enjoy before we left and when we got back, unfortunately she was very sick. Minute Clinic advised going to ER. It was late and she wanted to wait until morning. I woke at 5am and knew I had to go to her side. I gave her Reiki and it was clear to me not to wait any longer.  We went to Kennedy’s ER and they promptly cared for her abscessed throat. We also found out that was the best time and we missed the rush of people flooding ER. She is better now and back to Florida.

A Sparrow's Gratitude

This summer I had an amazing experience. On June 19th, an hour before having to take my husband to the airport, there was a loud thump against the glass door of the sunroom. Steve saw this, a bird was flying with others, maybe being chased, and crashed against the glass. I asked "what was that?" and he pointed out to me what he saw. I opened the door and looked outside and there he was, a catatonic little sparrow upside down on our deck in the blistering heat!  

I immediately got a cloth dish towel and carefully wrapped him and brought him to shade in the soft grass.  Still dazed, the sparrow barely moved. I brought him a small dish of seed and bowl of water but he could not enjoy any of it. His legs where twisted underneath him and he could not stand. I straightened them out and smoothed his feathers. Praying quietly, giving him Reiki, holding my hands a distance away to not frighten him, I knew I was his caregiver. I was inspired to put a drop of water on my finger and gently touch his beak. He drank it! Now I had hope he had a chance to survive!

Unfortunately, we had to leave. I wanted to protect him from any hawk or predator that may attack him in this vulnerable state of being while I was gone. I quickly found and placed over him a plastic milk carton crate. There was plenty of room for him to escape through the bottom openings without trouble once he felt good enough to hop on his feet.  

It was time for me to leave and it took four hours to get back after going to the airport and then picking my mom up at the shore. The bird was on my mind the whole time and I dreaded what would happen to it. I reassured myself that I did everything I could and had to trust any outcome was out of my hands. 

I told my mom the whole story on the way back home and was eager to see if the sparrow was still there. When we got to the backyard, the cart was empty. I said another prayer for him. Then my mom said "look over there on the deck, a sparrow is chirping and looking right at you!" I went over to him. He stood on the deck where he had originally fallen. It was him! I recognized his feather pattern since I was so close. He was hopping up and down, singing loudly "thank you", the only way he knew how. He let me stand close to witness this for some time before flying away.  I never saw a bird do this before. I'm so happy my mom witnessed this miracle with me.

It was a moment of connection and joy. What a blessing. A gift from God that this little sparrow demonstrated his appreciation. It made me understand that all of God's creatures are aware, thinking, feeling, and know how to show their uniqueness, more than we ever give them credit for.  

Second Post

I use a variety of devices to make sure I don't miss a thing. Rhetta can ring her button anytime that she keeps on her. It is a wireless doorbell and I can hear the ring wherever I take it in the house and even outside around our property.  I also use products from Kerr.  Many times she will not ring for me and attempts to get up without my help so the chair alarm sounds off and I am by her side within seconds.  She is prone to fall and forgets she needs help.  At night I have a motion detector that also sounds an alarm in my bedroom when she attempts to leave her bed without help while I am sleeping. 

Throughout the day I am checking her and making sure she uses the bathroom regularly.  I adjust her seat positions and add brief naps in bed to avoid any skin sores.  She is in great condition which is a daily goal.  

Not only do I rely on alarms but I have a Momentum Camera and can view her from my cell phone any time, any where. So if I run out to the pharmacy for her medication for example, I check often and see she is alright.

These are all the reasons I am able to take care of myself.  I sleep easy at night, keep a meditation and yoga routine, create art in my studio, maintain gardens of flowers, herbs, and vegetables, and am always reading a new book.  It's important to not only be Rhetta's caregiver 24/7 but to be the caregiver for myself, my family, spiritual growth, nature, and artistic creativity.  

My future posts will cover meaningful stories and experiences along the way weekly.

First Post

In January 2015 Rhetta my husband’s mother moved in with us.  The year leading up to the move involved several falls and times in the hospital. Checking in on her more frequently revealed poor cooking skills and a diet mostly of sweet and salty snacks.  We then provided daily healthy prepared meals but we knew something was going to have to change.  Rhetta could no longer live alone.

The family decided it would be best for around the clock care. Two different remote life alert systems had failed her when she needed it most resulting in evening hours on the floor without help until her neighbor found her in need the next morning.  At first the family discussed and explored senior care facilities options.  Then I had a revelation.  Why not me?  I could take care of her full time. 

It was not a quick and easy decision, my husband and I carefully considered what this would mean.  Seven days a week, 24 hours a day.  No vacations, breaks, concerts, or day trips unless we arranged for costly help.  We had only been empty nesters for four months.

Completely convinced this was the best solution compared to all others, I dove in with full force.  I immediately registered for a Certified Nursing Assistant program (CNA) at Rowan College at Gloucester County and hired my friend to cover me. It was a valuable educational experience and worthwhile in every way.  I passed two rigorous exams to be licensed.  The first was an evaluation of my CNA step by step performance skills.  The second part was an extensive written examination.  I also completed and passed the American Heart Association BLS for Healthcare Providers (CPR and AED) Program.

The reason I am blogging now is from what I am hearing from her Hospice Nurses, Home Health Aides, Social Worker, and Chaplain, as well as close and extended family.  It is very positive feedback regarding my abilities and upbeat attitude.  So I want to share and connect with others in the same or similar situation.  It is with my heart and soul to create this blog as an outreach to provide support, comfort, and ideas to help a caregiver’s life and the ones they serve to be more fulfilled and balanced.  

Previously I had a full career as New Business Development Account Executive in my 20’s through my 40’s.  I have now reached a place in my life that is the most rewarding, fulfilling, challenging, and blessed in every respect.  It is such a paradox to go from the corporate chase the carrot world to really following my true soul calling, to help and care for others. 

It is okay to switch gears in life and change to be more in line to what truly resonates within.  In the past I chose a BBA in Marketing because I love people, travel, new experiences and challenges.  My career was about bringing important projects to talented creative designers, architects, and artists.  In 1997-1998 was a tumultuous time but the most fruitful with a year towards my Masters in Art Therapy.  Even though not completed, it later turned into Healing Artisan and Art Discovery Workshops that also embraced the healing, caring, artistic being that I authentically am. In 2000, I completed Reiki I and Reiki II.  A few years later Reiki III – Master Level.  I have been practicing and attuning others to Reiki for 16 years now. 

This blog will open up the possibilities of our magnificent and infinite world.  May there be more inner peace, love, and joy for everyone’s highest good.  May you enjoy reading my thoughts and experiences and feel inclined to share with me yours.   Thank you.